Sorry I left you... Left you cryin :(

Wowww where do I start.... ok I know this post is long overdue but trust me I have had my reasons.  This school year was not a good one to me I don't exactly know why my grades took a turn for the worst but I do know that I need to get back to my former academic status.  Passing is simply not enough for me if I know that I did not truly give a course all I have to offer.  I was even considering dropping out for a year just to get my mind back, but after a long  and tearful talk with my advisor, we figured that the freshman Chantel was still somewhere inside me and I just have to wake her up again.

I did have a new love starting from December but he decided to call our relationship quits after 4 months of was seemed like the best few months of my life.  I mean call me naive or crazy whatever you want lol "every bit of 20 yrs old".  I actually thought that I had found that one person who I couldn't live without, who I would die for, sacrifice for, do almost ANYTHING for.  Apparently he didn't feel the same.  It hurt like hell at the time and my chest still has pains if I think about it too long, but I've been through too much to let one more hiccup get in the way of my dreams.  As of now the love life stuff is on hold (my goal is to remain single for the entire school year, wish me luck).  I hate that I let myself believe that he was the end all and be all for me and that wasnt the case.  I mean honestly I'd rather a person not say that they love me and want this great future with me unless they know in their heart that its forreal.  I wouldn't tell someone I loved them unless I actually felt it in my heart, and I DAMN sure wouldn't profess to be IN LOVE with them either.  I feel so played to the left that I could've ended up on the right side of the world and not have known it. 

Like I said a lot of stuff has gone down since my last entry.  Dont worry the hair is not falling out (thank ya Jesus)  I'm currently rocking month old kinky twists, which I am considering taking down very soon.  As usual I dont know what Im going to do next, I want to try some roller sets as well as wearing my real hair in twists, plus I know I need a trim desperately.  I feel like I should take some time while looking for a new job lol to reinvent myself.  I want a new tattoo, piercing, haircolor, even better body :) this is the time in my life where I have the freedom to do whatever I want and please only myself.  Why not go full throttle? After all I only get this life once and I wanna have something to tell my kids (God willing I make it that far). 

But Im out here if you're still listening and I will get back to my regular posting :)