I must say that I am a bit confused about this ball of hoopla I call my love life. Its like no matter what I do someone I care about always gets hurt. And by them being hurt I wind up second guessing myself on whether my decision was right or not. I mean if some thing's really the right thing to do people wouldn't get hurt...would they? I'm really having fun with my boyfriend he's sooo sweet and he's not afraid to be affectionate towards me, where ever we are. That's definitely something that I wanted from the last guy but it wasn't really his style. And most times I would have to read between the lines (note: I hate reading between the lines :/). The crazy thing is that in a perfect world I would want my boyfriend to be the other guy instead. Even though I felt like I wasn't completely myself around him, I was more of my put together-tryna be perfect self. I loved him and it hurts because I feel like maybe once the summer was over things would've been better between us. But they aren't and I don't know how to fix it. Maybe its one of those things that I can't fix I just have to go with the flow like the true water sign I am. Maybe it just hurts now, and it wont hurt so much once I get wrapped up in my school work. I think to make an emergency prayer call to God, because I can't handle this.
much luv,
Chan
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